It’s difficult to imagine how one event can affect people so differently, bringing heartbreak for one, joy for another, and as realization sinks in, hope soothes the heartbroken and sorrow grieves the joyful all at once.
Lauren Fitzgerald united two such groups last Sunday, more than two years after her death at age 20 of a brain tumor.
Because she chose to donate her organs long before she became ill, her heart, lungs, liver and kidneys allow five people a second chance at life.
The third annual Fitzy’s Run, an event to benefit brain tumor research, attracted hundreds of people to Happy Hollow Playground in Wyomissing, where Fitzgerald grew up.
The crowd rallied around family, friends and, most notably, Jacksonville, Fla., resident Bob Potts, 53, who received Lauren’s liver, and Zebulon, N.C., resident Maryann Deans, also 53, who received her lungs.
Although Fitzgerald’s family communicated with Potts and Deans by e-mail, letters and telephone, this was their first face-to-face meeting.
Potts, who contracted liver-ravaging hepatitis C sometime during his career as a police officer in the early 1980s, anticipated the meeting would be both uncomfortable and therapeutic. However, no discomfort was visible as he talked, laughed hugged and shook hands with Fitzgerald family and friends.
“I want for donor families to realize that their loss cannot be replaced,” said Potts as he struggled to express his thanks. “But my gift has impacted thousands of people – my co-workers, family, friends, as well as co-workers’ family and friends. It just multiplies out so, so much, that one gift.
“This is about Lauren and her decision. A lot of adults don’t ever have her understanding of life that she had at such a young age.”
Lauren’s mother, Mary Ann Blefko, 56, of Reading, smiled as Deans and Potts were introduced before the race.
“I would like to bring the whole organ donation process out of the dark and into the light,” she said.
Blefko wanted people to see that organ donation does not end with the initial gift. Meeting the people who received her daughter’s organs is difficult but therapeutic, and any doubts people have about organ donation are offset by the good that comes from it, Blefko said.
“Even though it’s hard,” she said, “realize that it’s so worth it.”
Deans agrees. She suffered for years the effects of alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency, a hereditary disorder that often results in serious lung disease in adults. Before surgery, her lung capacity was about 23 percent, not enough to sweep a floor or make her bed. She was dependent upon an oxygen tank.
“It took about an hour and a half just to take a shower,” she said. “I couldn’t eat without running out of oxygen. I felt different as soon as I opened my eyes after the operation.”
She said the thought that popped into her head just after the surgery, before she knew anything about Lauren, was, “I feel 20 years young.”
“I then found out she was the same age as my son,” she said. “Her birthday was in October and his is in December of the same year.”
Then words failed her.
“No, I can’t tell you what Lauren has done for my life,” Deans said. “I’m so blessed.
“It’s sad, because you know someone has to die, but it’s been wonderful for the quality of my life.”
Deans can now make a bed, cook meals and even work in her yard.
In addition to meeting Lauren’s family, Deans and Potts met each other for the first time the weekend of Fitzy’s Run. They felt an instant liking for each other. Not only did they share a connection to Lauren, but also the experiences of facing life-threatening illness, receiving organs and recovering from transplant surgery.
Potts is glad for the opportunity to get to know his benefactor’s family.
“I was so glad when I got the first letter from Mike and Mary Ann,” he said, “but I was sad because for all the things I get to see – my son returning from his second tour in Iraq, my daughter graduating from high school – Mike and Mary Ann didn’t get to see with Lauren. The loss they feel now is the same loss I felt before my transplant. I hope they know I’m so grateful. I want to make sure they understand.”
Lauren’s father, Michael Fitzgerald, 49, of West Reading said the full impact of the meeting had not hit him yet. He expected a whole range of emotions later, perhaps after the excitement of the visit subsided.
“I expect to become great friends with Bob and Mary Ann,” he said. “It’s an incredible thank-you from them and a tribute to Lauren.”